Action! Action! Read All About It!

Canada's Toughest Meanest Manlyman Lawman (sorry for the confusion, folks) Prime Poseur commands - so ya'll better listen, especially where ya'll younguns are concerned (emphasis added):

Tories aim to lay down law
Plan calls for stiffer sentences for youths

The Conservative government is rekindling the controversial debate over youth justice with a plan to impose stiffer adult sentences for young murderers and rapists and lift publication bans for serious sex offenders, QMI Agency has learned.

A memorandum from the Prime Minister's Office obtained by QMI said while the government has taken steps to tackle crime with a "balanced" approach of prevention, rehabilitation and enforcement, more must be done to fix the young offenders system.

"We need to better protect our communities from violent and repeat young offenders," the confidential communications document reads. "And we need to give Canadians greater confidence that these offenders will be held accountable for their actions."

The document says right now, a youth 14 or older -- or 16 in Quebec -- who commits a heinous crime such as murder or aggravated sexual assault receives a sentence that is too often "much shorter than Canadians expect."

"We need to require the courts to consider adult sentences for those convicted of these most serious crimes, when the circumstances require it," the report reads.

All provinces and territories would maintain the discretion to set the age at which the requirement would apply, and no one under 14 would receive an adult sentence, according to the government document.

The Tory plan would also toughen rules to keep dangerous young offenders in custody while awaiting trial, arguing the system is now "powerless" to do so even when they pose a risk to society.

Justice Minister Rob Nicholson is set to publicly discuss the planned reforms and is expected to table legislation after Parliament resumes.

So ...

You're under 18 years old (but at least 14) and you've committed a violent crime (rape, assault, murder), then you can A) be treated as an adult like in the good old USA; B) get even stiffer sentences than before if you're found guilty (and fuck fair sentencing for da youth); and C) kiss habeas corpus, bail and due process overall goodbye.

And we just don't give a fucking shit that you're not even legal to have the right to vote or drink yourself to a puking stupor (disclosure: in Québec, the minimum legal age to drink is the same as acquiring the right to vote and the privilege of paying taxes - i.e. 18) or do sexting.

Why? Because, you know, you're a young, stupid, arrogant, dumbass, don't-know-any-better criminal punk teenager who deserves to be fucked up Big Time for your crimes, just because you are a young, stupid, arrogant, dumbass, don't-know-any-better criminal punk teenager.

And because we Canadians need to wake the fuck up and become as tough-on-youth-crime bastards as they do in the fucking Holy USA.

And of course because we've become just a bunch of fear-driven fuckers.

So fuck you, punkasses. We owe you nuthin'. Ya hear? Nuthin'!

Do rot in jail (or whatever the fuck we call "youth detention centers" these days) until you're 18, then be transferred in real, badass, you'll-be-someone's-bitch-soon adult jails to finish your (miserable) life sentences. Then you'll finally grow up to be a real man (or woman), eh?

Either way, you'll be really fucked - just da way We wants it. And like it. And applaud it. Or just don't give a shit about it. Whatever.

But we do think you deserve it anyways, youngun motherfuckers.

Again - if only just because we've become nothing more than fear-driven motherfucking, hypocritical flakes.

God Fucking Bless Prison-Nation Canada.

And, again - fuck you, ya dumbass punks.

That's all.

Everyone can move along now and feel safer, more secure. And never mind the cost of it all.

But before we do, let us proudly sing our Canadian National Anthem:

Oh-oh say, can you see?

By the dawn's early light ...

Meanwhile, back in Paris ...

(Hey, cut me some slack for trying to inject some Canadian musical diversion here - it's the first time I've ever written such an absolutely, definitely, outraged, angry, utterly pissed-off rant. I mean, what's next? Instant Youth Internment Education Camps the moment you get at the age of 14 - just in case? We are Canada! NOT the USA fercrissakes)